I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
