The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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