my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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