Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
