If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
