Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
