I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
