he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
