My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
