school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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