no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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