Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
