You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
