Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
