drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
