at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
