dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
