Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
