i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
