does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
