how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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