The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
These tits shall not be calmed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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