Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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