its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
