Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
