College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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