pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
