32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
