i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
