My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
