He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
