You can't motorboat a personality
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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