Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
