Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
