I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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