Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
