Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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