She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
