tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
