...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Randomize
