so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
