I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
