i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
