Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
