so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
