i barfeds in our rink
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
