wat bout pragnant strippers??
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just pee around me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
