and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
