I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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