Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
