is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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