Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
