let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
