i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
