In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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